I have no idea how this song got into a playlist and started playing in my car the other day. This gent hadn’t hit my radar. It started playing on the 9th and apparently now all I do is drive around listening to this song on repeat and crying. This dude’s stuff is not my bag, but I guess this song was just the right song for the very worst time.

I went to buy CBD oil yesterday for a resulting stress migraine and conducted the whole transaction while silently crying. The kind sales clerk said: ‘…are you sure i can’t get you something stronger?’

I don’t know how explain to my son his mom crying. He just tries to give me apples.

I tried to explain a little, about nice people and people who are not nice. I don’t know that he will remember very much anyway, he’s so young. But I think this culture he will experience at such a young age will inevitably have an impact. I can remember being a toddler and young child laying in bed terrified about unstable farm subsidies, pollution, and Russia. What will he worry about each night?

Leonard Cohen was just insult to injury. I’ve cried through three concerts; his I cried steadily though, the entire show, which was probably the last time I cried until this week. New Skin for the Old Ceremony came out the year I was born. As people I grew up listening to go, his loss is by far the most difficult one yet. But, maybe he cut a deal and figured he could do more good for us from elsewhere, when we need it most? That seems like it would be his style.

I very literally feel like I dropped through dimensions and into a similar but worse one. I keep checking to see if I can make that theory hold water because very nearly everything is upside down. I can’t do anything; I just sort of walk in stunned, dazed circles.

(the way he drags his nnnns is a lot like someone else but I can’t think of who? It’s driving me bananas. update. NEVERMIND IT’S PETER MURPHY. Duh. Of course.)

new moon scorpio & jupiter has a say

this album.
it makes me homesick. it sounds like it belongs to chicago in the cold.

if this year has been like crawling across trowel finished concrete with only broken fingernails for help, at least now it has a soundtrack. but jupiter in libra is a balm sinking in, and new moon for scorpio is like a pinhole projector during eclipse; a season to convene potent diction. i load my lap with Tsering Wangmo Dhompa, news on epigenetics, a toddler asking me to sing everything. i fold my hands to still doubt. touch my throat to change thoughts, practice being something that can sway. venus in sagittarius so soon.